The amount of thirst that is in these DC streets is unreal. Honestly, there is no reason to be living here and not having several men that you have to beat off with a stick because this past month has been insane.
There’s Blue collar boo, Prince Scorpio, Broke Alabama, Haitian homeland security, White Sugar Daddy, Lebanese Sugar Daddy, and plenty more (un)mentionables.
I literally wanted to do an experiment and see if I had it in me to take down as many men possible in one week – and let me clarify not FUCK but rather dating. I decided this was the week I was not going to pull my card out.
Thats right- Every meal is on you boo.
Schedule is as follows
Sunday: 4 PM Coffee with Haitian homeland security and then dinner with Blue collar boo at Smith commons
Monday: Parisian lunch with 18th street lounge. Marvins with Blue collar boo
Tuesday: Cuba libre with broke Alabama
Wednesday: Watching This is Us and pizza dinner with Konceited Kappa Karlton
Thursday: A night in VA and dinner with prince scorpio
Friday: Del frisco dinner with Lebanese sugar daddy
Saturday: Drinks with African Steve aka fine Nigerian from Marvin’s
It was all going well your girl been eating good, getting her life, feeling desired and then Saturday happened .. I mean I got stuck with the cheapest broke ass men alive. And how did I somehow end up on a double date?! And paying?!
We were meeting at some hip spot on H Street NE and once I get there I immediately noticed he wasn’t as fine from when I first met him this past Monday at Marvins but just kept it going. We head up the steps to get in and I run into my homegirl B (insert surprise) she is with this fine caramel built hunk who looks like Shemar Moore twin brother.
Somehow she looks annoyed. We head to a bar and both of the guys walk over to sit down by the couches. HUH Where they do that at?
B quickly fills me in- Shemar Brokeass Moore invited her out and on the sly tip tried to get some ass. He didnt have any means nor desire to take her out just wanted to take her down. She was like no, I’m starving you can meet me at Smith Commons if you choose to but I gotta eat. He begrudgingly goes to Smith commons in an uber paid by her, they head there and he starts sweating bullets and tells her he can’t afford his rent for the month let alone a $16 entree at a gentrified bar. She is beyond over it and it doesn’t help that he is venting about his crazy broke ass girlfriend no surprise there. Anyway she knew I would be at this spot and shows up as a hail Mary to get away from the foolishness and to somehow salvage a dub of a night. So now that I’m fully brought up to speed on her date I look over and see my guy has no desire to buy me a drink nor these $10 wings after he asked ME to come out knowing I came straight from work. So now we are both disgusted looking over at them catching up on the couch. We were like fuck it we on a date with ourselves. The bartender peeped the foolishness and told us to go upstairs and get fresh catches that could buy us a drink but at that point we were like fuck it so she paid for the hookah and I paid for my drinks and I decided I would never ever be seen with these men again!
Once we get to the couch holding all of our foods can you believe the nerve of these niggas? Ole boy barely passed the hookah that she paid for and then African Steve tried not once but twice to kiss me?! Absolutely despicable. We ended that date with the quickness. And to think just the night before I was on a $200+ Del Frisco date?! And had not pulled my card out once this week. Well by Saturday the joke was on me. Ughh
FIN!
bright lights date city 