Latin Fever

Its been 1 and a half  months since I’ve seen The Super. We had a falling out because he was feeling guilty about having his feelings of love and lust for me all the while being married with kids at home. I was hurt to find out about his marriage but at the same time I couldn’t help how I felt about him and as far as I’m concerned he was not satisfied with her and all she ever did was bitch and moan to him. Men don’t need to hear that on a daily basis regardless if it was warranted or not.

 We both decided to just fall back and avoided one another. Whenever a problem occurred in the apartment I did not call him as pride stood in my way and I didn’t want bad karma for messing with a married man.
Then we finally saw eachother. I was home alone cooking. I hear a knock on the door and lo and behold it was him. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Our eyes locked, I was shocked to see him especially this late in the evening. I asked him what made him come tonight and he said he had to fix the door. I told him my dresser was broken as well. We both go downstairs to my bedroom and he gets to work. To break up the anxiety and sexual tension we engage in small talk. Then he admits to missing me and always thinking about me. I still had feelings of resentment that he dropped me so I was not falling for it. He goes in for a kiss and I turned the other cheek. He proceeded to touch my hair, kiss my collarbone and I closed my eyes as I felt like it was a dream. He slid his hands over my hips and pulled me in close, I felt his hardness and warmth against my spot. He puts his hands under my dress and plays with my clit through my panties. I tell him we can’t do this. He says let’s go to a hotel. Pause. What! When? Why? Then says sometime this week. I was annoyed as I have my own place but then I thought about the ultimate privacy we need in engaging in this affair and after all this will surely be the last time to get it out of our systems for once and all.
He comes later in the week and picks me up from down the block. I hop in looking and smelling like a sex goddess. He immediately thinks the same. He Says, “mami you’re so beautiful”. I get more and more anxious and excited as we get near.  We arrive to the hotel and he decides to take a quick shower.  I quickly put on my plunging neckline black lace negligee and sky high heels. I Reapply my lipstick and shake my hair. I’m incredibly nervous at this point. I take a deep breath as the door opens and he walks out. His mouth drops in excitement and joy when he sees me and I bite my lip looking at his muscular wet body and bald head.
I push him on the bed and start to dance seductive to my sex mix. His eyes are begging to touch me and his dick is straight in the air waiting for me to fall on it spreadeagle. After I bounce my booty and whip my hair I finally get on top of him. I take my heels off and ride him while listening to Ciara Ride. His dick feels like everything but I have to taste it in my mouth. I give him the nastiest head he’s ever gotten judging by his face and reaction. My pussy misses his lips and I sit right on his face. He fully engulfs my pussy and I whine all the way back so my hair graces his dick. I bounce from his face to his dick and fuck him so he only fantasizes about me that night. He grabs me and hits it with the side stroke. He has the best side stroke ever. “Aye papi don’t stop!” I tell him. He goes harder and faster. We both start going hard as we fill the orgasm creeping up in my head I’m thinking how I never want this to end. Then  he starts moaning and I start screaming, We cum and collapse on the bed. I lay sweet quick kisses all over his face, neck, chest. I want to be nauseated by his taste so that I won’t need any more. I look into his eyes lovingly and say, papi this is the last time. He says no I don’t believe you, this isn’t our last time. I rub my hands up and down his chest then climb on top of him again.

SUPER : Spanish Passion

I had to have him if it was the last thing I did.

I broke the toilet bowl handle just so I would have an adequate reason to call him to service me.

I got home from work early and knew that my roommate wouldn’t be home, had to take full advantage of this opportunity. I called him to report on the “broken” toilet, he said he was on his way.

He knocks lightly on the door, I dont bother looking through the peephole as I know who it is. I tell him the bathroom in the basement is out of order and he heads down there, I go down with him. He goes to the toilet starts messing with it and flushes the toilet. It works perfectly, I completely play dumb. “That’s so crazy it was broken earlier.” He asks me, how was your day. I say it was pretty good. I ask him whats his sign, he says Taurus, you? I say Cancer and he smiles.

We head back upstairs and we start to make small talk. I ask him, so is this what you do, flirt with women in the buildings you maintain and kiss them? He says no, you know I’m only crazy about you cutie. I smile, couldn’t help but cheese even though it was an eyeroll moment. I nervously start walking around the apartment, opening and closing cabinets, press buttons on the laptop  keyboard. I know what I want to happen but can’t believe that it actually may  occur. This sexy man that has been coming to my building every other day, building shelves, handling the trash, laying down the cement is in my apartment gazing at me with the most intense I want to fuck the shit out of you eyes. I walk towards him but stand in front of the counter. He walks overs and kisses me, and not like the first time where it was our lips slightly touching, this was full on lip lock: Frenching, tongue biting, booty caressing. Spanish passion type of kissing. He pulls down my black tube top dress, and takes down my bra straps. He kisses my breast and sucks my nipples exactly like I fantasied from the last time. I say we can’t do this, and he gives me the most intense stare and he smiles. He grabs my hand, and walks down the steps to my bedroom.

 He knows exactly where it is. We kiss again but this time he’s more aggressive. I play the submissive role and lets him kiss me angrily and passionate. He pushes me on my bed, I’m not wearing underwear. He lifts my dress up and I pull it down and say, wait this is too much, I can’t. He doesn’t hear me he goes head first in between my legs. He fucks my pussy with his tongue, I go insane. I’ve heard that Spanish men can eat a mean pussy but oh my godddddddddddddd. In between the licking, sucking and slurping he comes up for air and ask me for a condom. I lie and say I don’t have any as I know it can’t get any further than this. He takes off his worker man shirt, drops his denim shorts, and exposes his jet black Armani boxers with a huge bulge. He pulls down his shorts. Oh My Fuck. He pulls out this Fat dick, its a unique Reddish Caramel color, and long. At this point I run and get a condom. He gets on top of me and simultaneously sucks my titty and kisses me on my mouth, I taste good. He puts on the condom and spreads my legs. I inhale deeply anticipating his entrance. I bite his back and Can’t believe how good he smells considering that he works in construction.

He immediately gets to work, my eyes roll to the back of my head, I start wincing, he’s in so deep. I scream Aye! And it drives him wild, he fucks me from the front, then lays me on my side, it was just so fluid. He starts hitting it from the back and he asks you love the way it feels, I scream yes. He responds that you’re so amazing, we are both panting like animals, our bodies are damp, I touch his bald head he sucks my neck, and I do the same to his neck. I knew not to give him a hickey. He lifts me up and I get on top of him. I start riding him, he’s palming my ass and the energy between us rises. The bed starts rocking and I feel my walls caving in. My eyes start to water, I feel myself orgasming, He squeezes me and holds me tight, I start screaming, he grunts and we both orgasm at the same time.

 We both collapse and inhale deeply. I feel him staring at me. I say with disdain in my voice, I can’t believe this just happened. He said I know…. this is our little secret in his Spanish tinged accent. Don’t tell anyone, including your roommate. I look over at him and respond, of course not! I imagine my roommate walking in and catching me in bed with the Super. I immediately shake away that thought. He tells me, you drive me wild, I’m going to think about you all weekend. He kisses me. Even though I know its wrong I agree and  say I’m going to think about you all weekend. I kiss him. He asks me, will you call me on Monday? He kisses me. I say, yeah but now I have to look for something to break. He says no you don’t. And kisses me again. He begins putting his clothes on and I sit on the bed, hair wild, and makeup sweated off. He says, I wish I could lay with you… I agree with him again but I knew he had more fixing to do and now would be the time to leave. We walk upstairs to the door, and he asks,  will we do this again, I say no we can’t, and I kiss him. He looks down at me,  grabs my face, and growls, he’s so sexy.

I can’t believe I fucked the Super, no one can find out this is just our secret.

The Super Pt 3

Something broke.

 I immediately called Alejandro, he said give him 30 minutes and he would be there. I gave myself time to freshen up, throw on a dress, look haphazardly cute & sexy since I was in the house. I heard the knock on the door and I immediately ran to open it. He comes in and ask me what’s broke. I tell him there was a leak in the bathroom we both go downstairs and he starts going to work. I make small talk with Alejandro as I don’t know what to speak about to someone who fixes buildings for a year. He actually breaks the ice. He asks me “so tell me why you don’t have a boyfriend, you’re so cute”. I blush and lean against the door ledge, I’m focusing on my career. He goes I understand. Then I ask him, are you happy with your situation? He says, “no we always argue, we were originally friends but now I dread going home and rather work around the clock”.
I tell him usually friendship before relationship is perfect but sounds like a recipe for disaster for you. He agrees. He’s just about finished fixing the leak, I ask him if he could move this heavy box for me before he leaves. He replies, “sure baby anything for you”. He picks up my box and then it opens from the bottom and everything falls out. I’m mortified as its my bedside table items. Condoms, cards, ky, vaginal meds come falling everywhere. I freak out and start yelling at him. He tells me to relax its not like there were toys, this is all normal. He begins picking up each piece and I’m red of embarrassment. I tell him that for the record I don’t use toys and not into that stuff. He says so what do you do? I say I think about sports and take a cold shower. He finds humour in this. We head up the stairs, damn he’s so sexy, I want him but don’t want the drama that may stem from it. I open the door for him to leave, I tell him I will see him soon. He winks at me and I close the door. I walk to the kitchen and take a breather. I don’t know what goes through me but I run back to the door to see if he’s still there. He is.
There I am standing at my door, he’s staring at me. He walks up to me and gets so close our noses touch. I immediately feel a bulge in his pants as we are crotch to crotch. I tell him I’m not going to kiss him. I really said it to myself. He smiles and steps back. I want him but won’t allow myself to entertain this. He walks up to me again we hold our lips close together but no movement, he lightly and gingerly licks my bottom lip. I immediately feel myself getting insanely wet. We hear a noise and walk away from eachother. Can’t afford to have any neighbors catch us in this act as we are literally at my front door. I tell him, see him Friday he nods and closes the door.

Fuck. I’m going to fuck the super.

The Super pt 2

I couldn’t stop thinking about him and our last interaction with one another. I couldn’t imagine telling my roommates what was going on, even when they were gushing about how cute he was as it was too sticky of a situation to put out there. Fortunately he doesn’t live in my building so I didn’t have to worry about anyone finding out.

 I was getting ready for work and Alejandro was outside the building doing his usual duties, I walk up to him and tell him that the flooding has stopped and thanks so much for working so well on it. He flashed me an extra sexy smile and said, “Anytime baby” I turned red from him calling me out of my name, but loved his choice of words. I wanted to flirt so I tell him, now that everything appears to be fixed, I guess I won’t see you again. He says, “yeah you can, just break something” My heart stopped. I see we were on the same page. I get closer to him, you want me to break something?” he says yeah….break something. I smile and sashay away as I had to make it to my event.

The next day I’m on my way to work and I run into Alejandro at the park, He sees me first. He looked so good first thing in the morning. I walk up to him we both flirtatiously smile at each other. He asks me, if I broke anything. I respond no, however our intercom system seems to not be working. (it actually wasn’t!) He wants to know where I’m heading to, I tell him work and we have friendly yet nervously awkward banter. Even though we are in the middle of the park and everyone is on their am work commute, the tension between us is heavy.

 I tell him I hope to see him soon, he replies you will and as I head on my way, he grabs me and kisses me, in that awkward cheek / lip kiss. I’m completely caught off guard and scurry away. This can’t be happening, I’m going to fuck the Super.

 

The Super

I just moved into a fabulous building with a rooftop view of the city. Everything was going well until it rained a treacherous storm that Friday night. The next morning there was flooding, this was absolutely disastrous as I had just placed my favorite pumps on the floor the night before. I angrily called my landlord to complain who immediately contacted the super. The weekend came and went and the water subsided. The landlord told me Alejandro would be coming that afternoon to check everything out. Just as I hopped out the shower I heard knocking on the door. I wrapped my towel around me and looked through the peephole. Its him I think in my head. I open the door, I greeted him, completely being oblivious to the fact that I had nothing on under my towel.
He says I’m here to inspect the flooding downstairs. I’m a tad annoyed as I was getting ready to go out but I let him in. He says, “you smell good”. I couldn’t help but crack a smile as I had just used my bottle of coconut vanilla showergel. I tell him thanks. He heads downstairs and I follow him with wet footsteps trailing from my shower. He walks around the basement while I wait at the top of the steps. He comes back towards the staircase to explain the causes of the flooding. “There’s a chimney nextdoor and a lot of the water went and that’s how your apartment ended up fl
ooding.” I shoot him a confused glare and tell him that the water came from the ground up. He goes “well I’m going to cement the exterior of the house just to be extra cautious- I’m sorry you look amazing”. He stops mid sentence, I was completely caught off guard, I immediately became even more wet- but not from the shower. I nervously giggle, he’s fine to say the least. I notice his construction outfit- tims, denim shorts, and a perfect stained white t-shirt. His lips are so pink, and his after 5 shave is an ultra sexy masculine feature on his chiseled face. He looks like an actor from a box office Hollywood action film. Just as I was about to say something my fire alarm goes off, I completely forgot that I was grilling fish on the stove. I run upstairs thankful for the makeshift fire so I could relieve myself.
I immediately start thinking to myself girl relax, calm down, it hasn’t been that long since you’ve had sex!” I turn around and he was behind me. He says, ok well I should go now. I will be here tomorrow. I hold my towel up even tighter just for good measure as I secretly wanted it to fall on the ground so he could kiss my wet breasts, suck my nipples, and lick a trail down to my belly button. I could imagine him fingering me until I couldn’t take anymore and bend me over the kitchen counter to give me what I’ve been so hungry for so long.

But instead I say, ok well thanks alot. I walk him out, smile, and quickly close the door. I immediately scan the apartment for things to break to have him come again.

Would You Date Someone with a Chronic Illness?

He was handsome, charming, smart, hard-working with a lean, sexy body to match. When we met, I immediately felt like a schoolgirl: nervous, silly and uncharacteristically giggly. We crossed paths at a restaurant where he was the manager and I was an increasingly frequent patron. Our interactions always ventured on flirty but never amounted to anything more.

Until yesterday. I came into the restaurant and our energy was just…different. He was unusually attentive to my table, even winked at me as he served me my appetizer (a manager serving food should have been a sign—he was going above and beyond the call of duty.) I only wanted him to stay at my table as long as possible so we could flirt, laugh, enjoy each other longer. So I could get a longer glimpse at his handsome face and perfect features. So I could stare and memorize his body: his strong shoulders, his thick neck, his lean frame. To keep him around, I found myself talking about nothing.

And then nothing turned to something. The conversation went like this: I was watching his juicy lips move. He was talking about switching jobs, then making more money and fighting to get benefits, and then desperately needing health insurance for his medical condition.

Wait. Condition…what condition?

Suddenly, I was alert and out of my infatuation-induced haze. My mind racing. AIDS meant that we were off for sure. Cancer was something I could deal with, though cautiously. “Lime disease,” he reluctantly offered. My friend who was eating with me at the restaurant and who has never been one to mince his words inquired relentlessly about the disease: Don’t deer get lime disease? How’d you get it? What do you take for it? Is it contagious? Will you ever recover?

The questions came at him like a flurry of bullets, and I felt for him yet a part of me…wanted to know. As much as I hate to admit it.

Would this complicate our connection which we hadn’t even gotten a shot at exploring yet? Would it mean I’d be taking care of him constantly? Biting my lip during one of his mood swings since I know that’s a symptom? Shrugging my shoulders when he’s too exhausted to spend time with me since it’s the disease’s fault and not his? It presented a conundrum in my head, and we hadn’t even had our first date yet.

I felt like I was between a rock and a hard place.

I could distance myself and selfishly decide that dealing with his condition was biting off more than I could chew. Or I could be his ride-or-die girl, catering to his every need and supporting and encouraging him as he fights to regain perfect health. Or I could go with the flow and see how it all plays out.

I’m leaning toward the latter. Even after I saw the horror on my friend, Moonlight’s face when I shared that he had lime disease.

My response to her was simple: If I had lime disease, or cancer, or a serious STD, I’d still want a chance at love, or lust, or whatever. I wouldn’t want someone to turn me away based on my health status alone.

Sounds noble, and yet, I can’t shake the feeling that she might have cause to worry; his illness could complicate our relationship for the worst. Is it smart or selfish for me to walk away from a sick partner? What would you do in my scenario?

A friend of mine who recently found the love of her life (and moved in with him) discovered she had cancer…at 24. Now, his romantic weekends of sex, sleep and more sex have turned into breathless afternoons in the waiting room waiting for her to emerge from the doctor’s office with an update on her health. Or support sessions after her chemotherapy appointments when she’s more discouraged and weak than ever.

Their honeymoon is over before it even started.

How do you deal with a partner’s illness before you’ve voiced the words, “for sickness or for health?” In my friend’s case when you’re in a serious relationship (with no ring) and in my case when you’ve only recently exchanged numbers?

Discuss.

You’ve Got Mail II

I decided to give him a second, 3rd, and 4th chance after taking your comments and advice into consideration. It looks like I may get a head start from my girls because He’s definitely going to be my winter boo. It was a Saturday afternoon and I wanted to see Him so I took the initiative and called and just as I figured he was doing some Home Depot fixer upper tasks, he asks if he can see me later and I was happy because he took the bait like I figured.

I got glammed up and opted for a sexy yet playful dress paired with gladiator heels, and I sit around and anticipate his arrival while gabbing to my girlfriends that I really think he could be the one. He calls to tell me he’s outside and I’m so excited that Prince Charming has arrive. I go outside and to my surprise he has a new Range Rover, I slink into the passenger side and indulge in the buttery leather seats. He looks over at me and smiles seductively and I do the same. We drive to this lovely Italian Cucina in the Heights and engage in conversation about my crazy 9-5 and his aspirations of being a pilot over pasta primavera. After a few martinis he takes me to the promenade where we walk to hand in hand. We enjoy and intake the city skyline and the cool breeze while gazing into the dark waters. I laid against his muscular filling rugby and close my eyes. After countless hours that seemed to breeze by we get back in his car.

We drive towards home and stopped at the stop light, he asked for a kiss and I gave him just that. He was  entrapped in my warm mouth and his tongue was absolutely sweet. After a while we realized we were at a stop light and should probably pull over and that we did. He grabbed the back of my neck and embraced me in the sexiest lip lock I’ve had in ages. He caressed my legs, my arms, my breast. He then grabs my leg and kisses it from my toes to my thigh, turns it over and does the same thing. My eyes read sex but I pull back from doing what I wanted, what he wanted, what we both desired. He takes out my breast and sucks both of them at the same time while nibbling on my nipples, he’s excited beyond belief by this point because he’s bulging out of his pants and I tease his hard on with my soft touch. I knew we weren’t going to fuck but I wanted to see what was in store for me. I tell him, “I want to see how turned on you are” he takes out a long, dark, rugged dick out and I smile in delight and bite my lips. I love sucking dick but I just couldn’t do it, we were moving way too fast by this point and he sensed my hesitance and apologized and tucked away his Hershey chocolate monster.

We go back to kissing each other like it depended on life and death all into the wee hours of the morning. He drops me off home but as badly as I wanted him to come up I wouldn’t allow it. I have a 3 month rule and we are only on the 2nd month so he has to wait and get tested then we can move onto next base. I can’t wait to envelope him in my pussy, and to think I thought he lacked sexual chemistry and charisma. Its always the silent ones that have a freaky side. You just have to yank it or suck it out.

Discussion
1. Have you ever dated someone who lacked excitement in other areas but came alive in the bedroom?
2. Have you ever held out when you just knew you were going to burst?
3. How do you feel about the 3 month rule? Do you have one?
4. Do you think that You’ve got mail may turn into the official winter boo or will he turn out to be like the rest?

You’ve got mail

I was in pursuit of the perfect black dress for an upcoming party so I hit up Bloomingdale’s for the summer sale. As I’m perusing the aisle, I see a sexy, chocolate, baldhead man and under my breath I said, “Damn he looks good” I walk passed him and he looked at me and I nervously look down. I secretly wish he could be my man. I quickly dismiss it because he has to have a girl. As I head to the register I feel a tap on my arm and look up and there he is, looking like a chocolate adonis. He says, “how are you today?” I reply with a breathy I’m fine, just shopping..and you? He holds his bag up and says doing the same. I don’t know what goes over me but I say is that for your girlfriend? He says no I don’t have a girlfriend. Score! He asks if I’m tired, and I respond no, do I look tired? He says no you look great just a little restless. I told him how I went partying with the homegirls last night. He asks do you party often? I respond no, which is true but I don’t want him thinking I’m the girl who dances on the bar. In the back of my mind I’m thinking this is an interesting course of small talk. I ask him what does he like to do for fun? He says work. I ask where he works, he’s a truck driver for the United States Postal Service. Cha ching! is what goes through my head. Not only does he have a solid job, its government. Needless to say I gave him my number and he calls me same night. We end up having a wonderful 3 hour conversation about work, food, fashion, media, etc. He calls me again the following night and its a repeat of great dialogue. He wants to take me to the movies the following night, I was down for it and I couldn’t wait for our first date.

Its date night and I spend hours making sure my hair is braided in perfection, skin is soft as butta, and smell heavenly. He calls to tell me he got off work a little later then expected but that he’s on his way. 845 comes and he isn’t here like he said he would be. Then 945 and now I’m annoyed. He calls to tell me that he’s sorry he’s late but he’s on his way. Finally at 10pm he calls to say I’m outside. I was annoyed and walked straight into a car with lights parked up front. I look to the side and OMG this is not my date! Whose car am I in?! He’s dark-skinned and has dreads and is an older gentleman, he looks shocked but also smiles because I look absolutely sexy. I apologize profusely and get out the car. I look around and I don’t see his car. I walk across the street with a car that have lights on and its still not him. I’m shocked, embarrassed and annoyed. I call him and inquire where he is, he’s at the wrong apartment. He starts apologizing and he says he will be there in ten seconds. I tell myself relax, but I’m mad because we are missing the movie.
Then out of nowhere this big silver Range Rover pulls up and my chocolate Adonis is in it playing Maxwell. Again I mutter under my breath, damn he looks good. Needless to say, I get over my anger. He apologizes and says sorry for coming late, I could not find my car keys. I tell him its OK but we are going to miss the movie, he said its cool we can hit up the one on the other side of town. He looks so cute and his muscles are bulging out of his Rugby shirt. This truck is so big and sexy. He was a gentleman all through the night, he held my hand in the movie theaters, opened my door to get into the car, the works. We head back to my spot. As we are driving he asks me, “what turns you on” I tell him besides the physical, I love when a man carries his self in the utmost manner…and I love lips. I ask him the same, he says “legs” I make note to myself to wear a short dress and heels on our next date. We get to my condo and I tell him thanks for taking me out. I had so much fun. He immediately ask when can we do this again, I tell him definitely this weekend. He says, “can I ask you a question?” I respond sure. “Can I kiss you” although I wanted to, I tell him “I don’t kiss on the first date.”  Lies.

Discussion

1. Have you ever met a guy, girl that meets all of your qualifications but there’s a lack of chemistry and passion? He looks good, has a job, articulate, has a sexy car, chiseled body, dark chocolate, and a gentleman so why aren’t there fireworks?

2. Could it be that I’m so used to being treated bad by men that when a great catch comes by I don’t know how to respond to it?

3. Should we go out on a 2nd date? And where?

The Forest, Waxing Down Below: The Results

Last Friday I got it done, and I promised to follow-up with an update on the my experience and the results. I showed up for my appointment right on time, and waited in the reception area until my aesthetician called me. While waiting, I watched so many women come in and out of the wax center. It put me at ease for bit, I felt like waxing was a “womanly” thing to do. Next thing I know my name was being called. My aesthetician was a nice middle-aged woman of latin decent.

I was left in a room to disrobe. When I was done she entered the room with a steel pan of the painful potion. The process began. Overall the experience was great. Don’t get me wrong it hurt, but not as bad as I expected. Put it this way, as I stated in the original post, I cry over paper cuts; I’m still alive. What really made the difference is my asthetician and the wax. She was very cordial, knowledgeable and informative. Although she only had 6 years of experience under her belt, she knew her stuff. She was very gentle, explained all her steps, instructed me on what to do to reduce the pain, was quick, and even told me what to buy to avoid any pimples or ingrowns. I would recommend her to any and everyone.

The wax also played a major part in the experience. It was hard wax, but green because it was made from aloe vera and natural extracts. It went on smooth and only grasped the hair, not the skin, and the smell was pretty refreshing. I’m SUPER happy with my results. My vagina is smooth, soft and clean-cut I want  to bear it to the world cue “Window Seat” video. I’m so glad I  swallowed my fears and bad experiences to go forth with the waxing. It hurts less and less after your first time, so I’m sure this will become a beauty ritual of mine.

*Side Note: Thank you for all of your advice and comments!!! I really appreciated it

-Starlight

How many sexual partners are too many?

The United States National Center for Health Statistics, a branch of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, released a study – which gave the average number of sexual partners for women in America.

The study, which used complicated and very high tech means to get accurate answers about sexual activity, is claiming that only 9 PERCENT of women have had sex with 15 or more men in their lifetime.

And, the average number of LIFETIME sexual partners for women is FOUR!

We have all heard this question before, the undeniable numbers question. And unfortunately its not easy math in some cases. Some people deem it immature, irrelevant, or too personal, while others believe its quintessential knowledge in order to be safe. When was the last time someone asked you “How many sexual partners have you had?” and to delve further, how do you answer it? I’m a firm believer that the truth will set you free, but if your number surmounts counting fingers and toes then there may be no justice. Lets be honest, in often cases your answer may be nothing to boast about. It can reflect how much fun you had in your old college days, how “friendly” you’ve been, or if the number is too  low it can also display your chastity and  lack of experience between the sheets.

We are well aware that men and women are held up to different standards. Society encourages men to go out and be promiscuous, they associate it with manhood and life experiences. I’ve seen fathers, brothers, uncles, and cousins push their younger relatives to sleep with all the girls/young women they come into contact with, like sex is the ultimate prize or goal in achieving manhood. I fully disagree. A man who has slept with one woman his whole life is no less of a man than one who has slept with 40. You learn nothing about being self-sufficient, a provider, a good person, or quality characteristics by having sex. It’s unrelated. A prime example are men who have a million children all over the nation, but lack responsibility: they’ve had sex and a lot of it, but it hasn’t made them a better man.

There are mixed expectations for women. We’re supposed to be sexy, but pure; beautiful virgins. If we’re too sexually empowered or free we can easily be taken as a being a whore, slut, loose, etc. I will never forget the episode of SATC where Miranda had to write a list of the number of men she slept with, in the end it was about 40. But keep in mind she was at least 40 years old, and most likely started having sex in her latter teen years. So when you think of it in terms of years worth, she may have only slept with 2 men a year.

Is the amount of sexual partners still a deal breaker? If a female / male told you they had 24 partners and they are 24 years old do you go running? or do you keep an open mind and take in consideration that they lost their virginity at 14 years old (which seems to be the avg age of New Yorkers I’ve met) so in a 10 year span he slept with 2 women a year give or take which isn’t deemed awful. On the contrary, what about the 25 year old who only has had 5 sex partners. Do you side eye him for not having a lot of experience? and assume he would be a bore in bed. I actually know of a young man who is 28 and has only had 4 sexual partners. But keep in mind he may have slept with those 4 women 60 times each making him catch up to the dude with the 24 partners. And most importantly, STDs are running rampant and not everyone uses condoms, Its despicable but true. In my experience, most people sleep around in their younger years versus older. I believe it’s because as we experience life we become more in tune with what we want and are more selective.

I won’t reveal my number , but since we are on the topic just know that I still have a few fingers left..

Discussion

1. How many sexual partners have you had? Don’t be shy 1-10 / 10-20 / 20-30 / 30-45/50+

2. Based on your answer above, if someone had 2x your number how would you react? Would you be leery of their past and sexual health or you wouldn’t judge?

3. What do you think is the average number of sexual partners of your age range? i.e. 18-25 could be 7 partners

4. How many partners do you hope your wife / husband have by the time you get hitched?